


Nothing's Gonna Hurt Me With My Eyes Shut

by TrinkitTheCat



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix It Fic, Found Family, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Processing Truma, Sasha Centric, Sasha doesn't go to ancient rome, Spoilers for up to episode 130, Zolf is such a Dad, set in the far future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 18:02:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20746445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrinkitTheCat/pseuds/TrinkitTheCat
Summary: Sasha Racket's never had a lot in life, so she knows how good she has it now. She's on the hunt with her (new and better) family to retrieve several dangerous Roman artefacts stolen after the meritocratic governing system collapsed. Its pretty good, sometimes she even gets to stab things .Basically a Sasha centric fix-it fic where she never goes to ancient Rome. The crew have solved all of Alex's plot quests and are now off dealing with the consequences, both physical and emotional.





	Nothing's Gonna Hurt Me With My Eyes Shut

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first time ever posting a fic yay! This fandom is so nice and I love all the characters a lot, so of course I am having feelings which I will now shove on all of you. The title is from the song Eyes Shut by Years & Years which is just about always stuck in my head these days. 
> 
> Huge shout out and thank you to my amazing friend Liv who edited this, the grammar would have been atrocious without you 💜.
> 
> And thank you all for clicking on this I hope you enjoy!

She looks behind her before darting to the other side of the street. There’s nothing there but its habit now to always check. Just in case. In fact, she can’t remember when it wasn’t a habit to watch her back and blend into the shadows on the other side of the road. It’s part of who she is. She walks down the street at a quick stroll nothing obvious mind you, but she does need to hurry. Her friends are waiting; and isn’t that a strange thought still, even though it’s been years since she joined this ragtag team. After getting back from Rome and finding the world changed almost irreparably, after losing Bertie and Grizzop and then finding Zolf and Wilde again, after all the trials they have faced to stop the simulacra army and rid the world of the plague these individuals are the most important people to her. So, she slips down the side street like oil reflecting a night with no moon and quietly closes the door behind her to their shared apartment. 

The morning rises a cloudy grey and she’s already up, a side effect of being undead and the life she lived even before that. But its ok, she’s grown and she’s happy now, a few left-over side effects don’t matter, not in the grand scale of things. Hamid always knows when she’s had a bad night and sits by her in the morning while she drinks her tea, never expecting her to talk. He’s been by her side the whole time unlike everyone else and they’ve reached an understanding. She’ll always come sit at his door when he can’t sleep so he knows no one can get in, even if these days he’s more powerful than all of them when he wants to be. 

Zolf and Wilde join them in the living room and even though they all know that Azu’s awake they let her lie in bed for a bit longer, everyone deals with grief differently and while Azu is always trying to be kind to others sometimes she finds it harder to be kind to herself. So, they give her this time, while Sasha finishes her tea. The quiet hazy grey morning slipping past as the sun slowly rises.

Finally, everyone’s out of bed and the breakfast dishes are being packed into the dishwasher (they no longer have access to endless butlers but no one really seems to mind). When the dishwasher door is closed and they can hear the small water elemental start throwing water around Hamid asks “So did you find anything useful last night Sasha?” Coming around from the kitchen to where Sasha is sitting at the table (he’s grown too, gotten used to being a leader and doing his own chores). 

“How’d you know I went out?” She replies smiling slightly, none of the suspicion on her face that the Other London drawl would have normally indicated. 

Zolf places a hand on her shoulder laughing with his eyes “Well it was expected after what we found yesterday, you never could resist the lure of knives, loot and puzzles.” 

“Hey, I’ll have you know that there was a pyramid once, which I didn’t loot when I could have.” She glares at Hamid and Azu jokingly.  
“But I did find something useful…” She pulls out the notebook and pen from behind the many knives stored in her trusty jacket. The jackets getting a bit old these days but she loves it dearly, its protected and shielded her from the beginning. She places the notebook on the table and flips past a few poems and some rough sketches of the skyline in the morning with the gargoyles in the foreground; she likes to carry a little bit of peace with her everywhere. “So” she says while sketching a rough blueprint.  
“I investigated the perimeter last night…” She looks up from the drawing sheepishly “and they only had one guard, so I snuck in behi….”

“Sasha!” Hamid shouts angrily, causing her to startle and stand up as he approaches.

“It’s fine Hamid. I was perfectly safe” Her hands are down beside her sides and she pointedly doesn’t reach for her knifes as he stalks closer.

“But you know we don’t like you doing dangerous stuff without us, I thought you were trying to get over this self-sacrificing streak!” The room goes silent for a second and an emotion flashes across Sasha’s face before she shuts it down. She stands taller and although there is a significant height difference it doesn’t help that much. 

“Excuse you! I said there was only one guard, didn’t I? Like you would have done any different.” She says aggressively although she doesn’t move any closer and her back is locked rigid to keep herself from curling away. 

Zolf steps in between them, putting his hands up on either side, breaking the intense eye contact and Sasha turns away. She’s not crying.  
“Hamid, I know you were scared for Sasha but that doesn’t excuse saying something like that. And Sasha you know how we feel about not working together. I know it’s your specialty and that you need to do it alone, but we would feel better if we could be just around the corner” Zolf watches Hamid hang his head and take a few deep breathes before he lowers his arms.  
Not startling when Oscar grabs his shoulder and pulls him out of the way while saying loudly, “Well that was very dad like Zolf,” before smirking, looking up from beneath his eyelashes (Zolf doesn’t know how this is possible when Oscar is several feet taller than him) and whispering loud enough that everyone can hear anyway. “I think I like that.” Hamid lets out a watery sounding laugh as the tension breaks before striding back up to where Sasha is by the table. Anyone else might have taken the forceful steps as him still being angry, but Sasha knows that’s just the persona Hamid puts on when he’s scared, seem put together and in charge and most people don’t notice if you’ve recently been crying. So, she turns around to meet him when he stretches up to place his hand on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you. You didn’t deserve it and I know that’s a sensitive topic for you. It is just that I’m so scared about losing any of you, you’re all I have left, after my family…” He chokes up and Sasha gently takes his wrist pulling his hand off she shoulder before entwining their hands. 

“I know, I forgive you, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I was going to infiltrate the Cadabra building” She gives his hand a tight squeeze “I wasn’t even going to. It’s just, there was one guard. Who knows if that’s the norm?” She throws that quick glance at Azu who’s been standing slightly awkwardly to the side since Zolf stepped in. She knows she can’t always solve everything for everyone even if it’s a lesson she learnt the hard way and one that she doesn’t always remember. At Sasha’s glance Azu steps forward and wraps Hamid in a hug, she can’t always do much, but she can do this, give something Hamid needs that Sasha can’t give. Hamid squeezes Sasha’s wrist back as he leans back into Azu and lets out a sigh. The room is quiet. Still just the sound of breathing. The sun peaks over the clouds for the first time that day. We are ok, Sasha thinks, and she sits back down in her chair and picks up her pencil, smiling at the others. “Ok, so I’ll show you what I found.”


End file.
